Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Peluk lah sekuat hati

Peluk semuanya sekuat hati selamanya dan tak mungkin dilepaskan. My family, my best friends, Syaukhi, his family, his best friends, our friends and our future.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

:+:+: Hospital Indo :+:+:

Early this week, I hadda fever for 4 days,
flu-like syndrome , arthalgia (click here for more info) and horrifying tummy ache. It was on the 4th day, when I went to the toilet, I realized I was bleeding from my rectal. It was a shocking experience. First expression "Yeay!!! da period, tak yah sembahyang zohor!". Bile tengok betol2 "Oh no, ni bukan period, this is melena(click here for more info)," Second expression was "woooo," (jakun tak pernah tengok, it kinda looks like bloody, meaty and very disgusting.) I told my Bf, in 5 minutes jer, dia dah ada kat depan my house with his ride. Ready nak bawa I to the hospital. I hate hospitals, I hate doctors when I'm the patient. I hate needles and those stupid nurses yang tak faham2 I don't wanna get shot! The last time I was rushed to the hospital was when I fell down and scratched my self. It was a superficial painful 15 inches scratch. I got the scratch from my sharp rusty sink, and because of that, the doctor shot me with anti-tetanus(click here for more info), I almost faint in the hospital just at the sight of the needle. Kenapalah jarum wujud di dunia ni ha??

Anyways, back to the story, I was nausea and vertigo (click here for more info). Jalan sket langgar dindinglah, langgar teponlah... So this is how orang minum 'todi' feels like heh? I diagnosed myself with Typhoid (click here for more info)or dengue fever, belom dengue hemorrhage lagi. So rileks la, tak parah lagi, besok gi hospital pun tak pe. Watpe nak rush? I consult ngan my friend dr. Ezy, she agreed with me. But she said "But if u hemorrhage fever, shock (click here for more info) on the 5th or 6th day can be fatal, cam arwah (our dear senior),"

So, I went to the hosp. Following the normal procedure, the stupid nurse took my blood with the biggest needle I never saw (sebab I tutup mate). My bf took me makan spaghetti for lunch, an hour later. My full-blood-test dah siap. My WIDAL test was negative. Alhamdulillah. My trombo was normal but my MCH, RDW-CV, LEKOSIT, MONO were incredibly high. My doctor used to say, "Lagi kammu pandai, lagi kammu banyak ilmu, lagi kammu bodoh!" It's true actually. So I know it's not typhoid, and it's not dengue, so what is it? I guessed it's an intestinal infection. But when I showed my full-blood-test to my doctor and asked her what's wrong with me. She said "Ohhh... infeksi kat tekak je, normal sorethroat, and you saket perot sebab you gastrik biase," I rase die ingat I budak 5 tahunkot nak cakap camtu. Tapi asal die bagi I obat antibiotic broad-spectrum, I malasnak argue dah.

Thank Allah I'm getting better now, that tummy-ache still bothers me tapi cam chipsmore je. Now u c, now u don't. Sekarang tengah super pokai after buang2 duit kat hospital. Hospital Hindon mahal, dah lah kuman and virus kat indon sangat banyak. Moto Indonesia sepatutnya "Eat our food and welcome to the hospital,"

Friday, March 19, 2010

:+: Touched :+:

My patient's sister drew me secretly. She's an autism (If you wish to read more about autism, please click here). I always visit my patient's house twice a month for monthly control. I can't help but noticed the beautiful drawings using crayon on the walls. Every side of the house wall, there is at least a painting. They were frame less. The family can't afford to frame any of them. They barely have enough money for food. This house will always be my favourite house to visit. As seen on drawing, I have my name tag on, "NUR DOKTOR". Hilarious, my name tag doesn't say that. But thanks. A smile for the world. She touched my heart, an autism, who can't speak, she doesn't even understand languages, but possess a magic hand.

I upload one of my 'personal' collection, drawing is a passion. Like love, love is passion plus lust including all the other elements (trust, loyalty and whateva that adds up).
P/s peeps : Never stop believing, never stop loving, mourn for your lost and smile because life is like a wheel, it won't stop spinning and it won't wait for you. To hell what other people trash about your life or your family. They may be right about it. Because remember this! Life is always an ebb flow to darkness and back again. Love - Shikyn (a broken hearted girl with a pinch of suckerness but believes that time will reveal everything and her passion towards her patients)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

:+:+: Fat :+:+:

(Admiring Gabourey Sidibe, what you are what you present to the world)

I am fat and I'm not afraid to say that.
I 'was' never skinny all my life
Sometimes I wonder how does it feels like to be one
But I'm happy with the way I look and I'm confident in front of my patients

"Believe me when I say it takes courage to be fat,"

It also takes an enormous amount of forbearance. The hatred directed at fat people is astounding nowadays. Often, it borders on dehumanizing. Hating people for being fat, whether out of malice or supposed concern for people’s health, is considered perfectly acceptable in our society.

It was never easy to be teased at everyday at my young age. I understand how it felt to be fat, ugly and alone. So the next time you feel like laughing at a fat person. STOP! Imagine what if she's your mother or your lil' sister who is weeping for help because she can't help the way she is.

Don't hate fat people, hate fat epidemic. Help all the fat people to fight against it.

(Taken from Glee! I'm a die hard fan. I'M GLEEKED!!! )

Guess what I'm doing tonight? Sleeping at 8.30p.m, woke up at 9.00p.m, ate junk foods and blogging. I'm such a lazy arse! And guess where is my bf? He's out to his routine work-out (every night from 7.30p.m - 11.oop.m). He's a gym freak!! But lately his hard work have paid off. If ONLY I can upload his 'semi naked' picture here, you'll go gaga over his body. lol. (tak malu puji bf sendirik). My boyfriend never complained about having a "fat" girl as his gf, sometimes when my self esteem is low, and I feel 'fat' and 'ugly'. I always say 'no' when he asked me out. At times I ask him, "why do you like me? I know I'm not pretty, I'm... fat. I'm not the best looking girl 'here'," He just smiled. "I told you, it was love at first sight, the first time I saw you, I knew we were meant to be,"

Dimanakah 'pertama kali' dia nampak pompuan 'temok' ini?
(Source: Nur Ashikyn's fb profile picture)
(Pardon my gedikness. It's in the blood)

To all my dearest hunnies : No matter what size you are, just be confident. There is nothing more beautiful in this world, than you... being yourself.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

:+: Bila dia kembali :+:

Warning : Ni post semi-emo

I believe in quote "what you give, you'll get back," This is a private post, pernah tak someone you trust betrayed you? I think everybody has been in this situation. Just nak curhat kat blog ni je. A girl dengan initial RN promised me, she would never repeat what she have done in the past. But she lied, just to get what what she wants, what she desires and who she dreams of. I gave up on my dreams, everything I ever wanted and believe. She's like a sneaky back-stabber. I was weak, malas nak fight. I just gave up with a broken heart. I felt like a sucker, I believed her! RN 'ym' me last night, what more does she want?

RN : sori
me : u dpt pe u nk, xyah la ungkit pape lg
RN : ok. sori
me : 4 all the things that u've done, i hope it was worth it

Dearest RN, tonight saya malas nak layan awak, because I just realized
- I have nothing more to give
- I have nothing left to lose
- And you know, you have nothing more to take from me
- After what you're trying to pull,
- I think it's best if we just move on.

p/s : Kite same2 pompuan, Janganlah luka kan balik luka yang baruuu je nak sembuh. Peace*

Friday, March 12, 2010

:+:+: Menghitung hari dengan senyuman :+:+:

Baju kebaya dah siap!
Tengah mood super happy ni
Orang kate jangan show off dulu nanti jinx*
Tunggu je la for the big day, but I can't help it.
(I don't believe in jinx* pun. hehe.)
Mak kate "This happens sekali je seumur hidup,"
Ni la saat2 yang di nantikan seumur hidup
Tapi I tak dapat rase kegembiraan macam orang lain.
hrm =(
May be sebab life sangat hectic now.
clinics, patients and tests almost everyday.
Moga2 semua berjalan lancar.
Alhamdulillah masih ada rezeki.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Lelaki dan saya

Saya tak ade adik beradik lelaki. So saya tak tau pun laki tu ape time kecik. Dulu time kecik, menurut pemahaman budak berumur 8 taun, yang membezakan laki dan perempuan tu ialah rambut. Kalau nak jadi pompuan bele lah rambut panjang, nak jadi laki bele la rambut pendek pastu berlagak kasar2 sket. Ha..jadilah satu produk laki yang sempurna! Dulu time darjah satu, cikgu tak ajar sains ke... anatomi ke... jadi saya tak tau langsung laki dan perempuan ni secara fisikal lain rupenyer.

Time darjah satu dulu, saya ada best friend, the boy-next door. Nama die Taylor (bukan nama betol), he was my best friend. Setiap petang main same2 around the neigbourhood. Mamat ni just a year older than me. Time hingusan dulu, dari mata saya dia sangat gentleman tak macam laki lain yang suke ejek saya 'gemok' ke 'dinosour' ke... (sebab time tu memang saya sangat montel, dari jauh kalau saya pakai baju warne biru tua nampak macam doraemon tengah berjalan).

Suatu hari, me and Taylor tengah main tiup2 buih depan rumah. Ntah kenapa dari dulu sampai sekarang I find blowing bubbles is very exciting. Sampai sekarang, time pergi taman mini Indonesia setahun lalu, the only ole-ole saya beli kat Taman mini tu ialah automatic bubble blower. Saya sangat sayang dan suke bubble blower tu, sampailah suatu hari bubble blower tu rosak. Itulah salah satu sejarah hitam dalam hidup ini. Tsk* Tsk*

Back to the story, tibe2 je Taylor cakap "Eh shikin, aku nak kencing la. Tak tahan dah ni,"
Saya pun cakap "G lah kencing dulu, orang tunggu kt sni, Taylor g kencing... orang nak habiskan semua air sabun ni!!! biar awak datang balik, dah habes dah semua...haaaa!!" Saya memang jaki sket time kecik2.
Tibe2 Taylor pun meletakkan straw bubble dia kat bawah dan membuka zip seluar dia. Dengan confidentnye mengeluarkan senjata dia dan buang air sambil berdiri.

Saya tengok dengan pelik. Saya pun bertanya ke Taylor "Apa tu?"
Taylor pelik saya bertanya,"Eh, ni buat kencing lah, kau tak de ke?Habistu kau kencing camane?"

Saya pun terus menjerit histeria, "Aaaahhh!!!" Berlari lintang pukang masuk rumah. Mak tengah potong sayur kat dapur. Saya pun mengadu kat mak "Mak!!! Taylor cacat! Kesian dia!"

Tu lah crite nostalgia saya. Bila dah belajar human anatomi, baru lah saya tahu human genital organs and their functions. So menurut saya, budak2 darjah satu sepatutnya diajar basic human anatomy untuk mengelakkan moments yang memalukan macam tadi tu. haha..