Friday, June 27, 2008

Simply contented

Kung fu panda is just hilarious. This time Nad was right!

It has been a hectic weekend. More practicum test... and more practical test… and more… bring it on!

Luckily I get to squeeze a Saturday night to watch kung fu panda and I get to meet PO, the main character, a talking ass kicking panda.

The movie is a funny fill story. Believe me, it’s a tear laughing sort of cartoon, a-to-die-for-story line. PERFECT 5 STARS, I said. I laughed Muahaha! Muahaha! At times I thought I choked on my own breath laughing so hard. There were times I clutched my friend’s arm… “suspen2 suspen nye! isk2!!” Overall it was perfect! A round of applause. clap clap fewwitt!!!

And the fun part about it is that I get to watch it with this friend. Thank you. [higs]

Oral Biology practical test was on Tuesday. I was ever so restless. I’ve failed this test a year ago and it drove me ga-ga. I remembered the day I ran away from home just to clear my mind. I was scared at that time and I’m not afraid to admit that now.

Special thanks to my best friends at Malaysia -> who help gained my faith, my housemates -> best people in the world, and my friends at Surabaya. Sorry I scared you people.

Guys, I retook this test with all hopes to get better grades and I think I did better this time.

Test result for Roentgen’s clinic just been key in in our results. Suddenly, I feel like I'm in the middle of a storm that's just beginning to brew and like I have to be somewhere else. Oh no! This could be the end of me! I couldn’t bear to see my results. Not another heartbreak baby, no more!! my stomach dropped to the floor

TUMP! I heard the sound of my tummy dropping in to my feet, now I have to drag it down. I started to walk faster. TUMP TUMP TUMP! berisik ah!

A cold chilled ran down my spines as I jogged to see my result in the university computer.

I keyed in my password, and as I sat on that old chair. I thought I could die! I gathered every ounce of my strength and press the key enter in my university’s computer…

Click ------- (I smiled… the first and the second alphabet showed)

Long distance relationship = single??

Are all long distance relationships doomed? Can they work out like perfectly? There is no such thing as a “yes” or “no” answer unless you have a magic crystal ball and you can see your whole future. Trust is the most important thing in an affair but for special case like this, trust is never enough. No one dare to let themselves stuck in a long distance relationship if he/she didn’t have faith in their partner.

LDR is unimaginably expensive. Countless emails, instant messages, attempted phone conversations, the internet’s bill, the phone bill, and so much more could reach hundred thousands Rp a month alone. But it is nothing compared to the satisfaction for both-sides.

LDR is almost like being in your single status. The only different is that there is a heart waiting for you back home. But most of the time in your life you’ll spent alone or with your friends which is not a problem at all! We should not be needy, neither should we be desperate. Falling in love only when we know it’s worth falling for. Being in two different places, the syncing schedules are challenging. It’s not helped when the time difference means you’re just ready for a goodnight chat everyday.

5 Myths on LDR

  1. LDR means lonely?

- No. LDR will only be lonely if he doesn’t return your calls for a month, ignore your runts for a year time. Well, by that time the relationship will be over and there is no more LDR. So LDR doesn’t mean you’ll get lonely. If he doesn’t pick up your call once, that is not lonely

  1. You can’t have double date with your best friends

- Well yah. So what? Who wants to? ‘Don’t you get abhorred listening to your best friend’s baby talks?’ “gross”

- It’s no fun when everybody all paired up except you. So what? Grab a friend and start a joke.

  1. Is my partner cheating on me?

- “Is he? Is he cheating on me? Because the last 5min he should be home and there is no traffic jam in Bangkok especially in 2 a.m, may be he went to see his other new gf…”

- 2 possibility - true or PARANOIA!

  1. Ready to eat meal for one.

- There is no need to eat your dinner alone. Don’t you have friends?

  1. A blank diary

- “I barely see my partner, what can I write about her/him?” It does sound sad, doesn’t it? Especially for girls, because most girls love diaries. But you can always save all the SMS, the endless phone calls, and paste some pictures in your diary plus clip down a video if you are using cyber diaries.

I heard a million time that all those who are in LDR are desperados, they are afraid if they let go of this one, the next person they’ll fallen in love to will be in the next century. Further more we are in Surabaya, Malaysians are finger countable (ha-ha… yah... if you borrowed 20 people’s fingers plus their feet). Undeniably scarce ~ definitely! That is a myth inside a close minded person. I have a close friend who said by accepting to further her study overseas it has cost her a relationship. I believe that if he left her because of that, it will be his lost!!! For those who got dumped or dumped their partner because they can’t stand LDR, I’d say it’s the right thing to do. Yes, painful but just bounce back in your life. Instead of pushing the dying relationship longer, just end it already! Never push a relationship when you know it’s hopeless. If he/she won’t wait for you, then it is not love. Duh!

So are all LDR will end up with tissues and red eyes? I’d say it all depends on how you manage to control your relationship. Just set a date by which you’ll be reunited. Place a goal on how your relationship will end up. Marriage?? Or may be just trying for now, see if he/she is Mr/Miss right. Whatever it is, LDR and single status are not chronic situations.

“Good things will come to those who wait”

This article is especially dedicated to these people below (with love)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Human sanity

:+:+: A night of thoughts :+:+:

(Warning: Amassing huge sums of emotions. I just got to get this out of my system)

I realized that we always say stupid things.

Things that we don’t mean

The kind that may destroy or change our lives forever

Or other people around us

We just say or write what we feel like at that time

We don’t care if what we say might move or hurt somebody else

May be what she did or say affected me in every way even she couldn’t imagine

I am the one far from perfect

I did a lot of mistakes, and for me, all our old mistakes didn’t matter

What matter the most is how much you've learned, you've matured, and even loved all the way

I don’t know and I bet I will never find out

I don’t know what’s going on underneath those afro hairs. A fun fill regrets follows by a jumble of thoughts.

I wonder how she feels deep inside without her pretension. He tried so hard not to hurt her, filled her life with laughter as he was damn good to her every day. But those were memories as she whispered goodbye softly to her one true love. The one that couldn’t possibly find its way home.

I wonder if she misses him and I wonder whether she wants him back or she just won’t allow him be with somebody else.

I don’t know what was she thinking when she tried to take him away from me. Is he a possession she refused to lose? Or is this what they called die romantic? I was na├»ve and I was blind. A night, I let my guard down and I pay my price for the next 10 months. I lost him.

I wonder what did she text him that changed everything

She never made it far with him. They remain single but half available. And I bet he’ll never KNOW how much he means to her, and vice versa. But those were memories. A history carved in the blue sky above them.

I don’t know how she felt inside her hard shell when he waved goodbye to me. Satisfied?

I wonder if she ever thinks about me in my outer silence

I wonder if she remembered me, the no-one knew invisible girl, she forgot that I still have thoughts and feelings

I heaved a sigh, forgave her but never forget. Unconsciously she drove us almost crazy. Paranoia ruled me. I held tight to my sanity.

P/s Love: I don’t wanna know all the answers to these questions. But what I do know is that I can’t stay sober. All I know is that I can’t compete with a memory. I wish their memories would just let us be. I respect their memories, even though it hurts me more than anything. It’s just sacred.

I stared at the blank corner of my room and think about all the unimagined what-if, what if I knew her intentions from start, I would have be more alarmed, and things might be different now.

I wonder who she was to him years before he met me.

I was having a flash-back. They brought me back to my dark eras. All of this didn’t matter anymore. A scene ended with a huge question mark for me. What happened actually? Did it really happened? It has been 3 years but they still terrify me. I can feel my whole body shook, numb and cold.

Bbbbbbzzzzztttttt…. Bbbbbzzzzzttt…. the vibration from my cell phone brought me back to reality. I picked it up and smiled. It was him in the other line.

I've BeeN TaGGeD!!!

uh Nad! so sorry i took the whole sem to do this!
she da tagged me, now i have to do this!




I love blink-blink, i'm a flygirl.
2. I have at least 7 pillows and at least 3 stuffed toys
on all my beds.
3. I'm 'juling, teleng or whatever you call it. People always caught me staring at them. Padahal i'm sow~ not @ tak de keje nak stare2. This is my anatomy. Know it, Learn it, Love it!
4. I hate college's election
5. I don't know all Butek's X-girlfriends and I love not knowing.
6. I'm a cyborg, my hand phone is my soulless best friend.
7. I listen to punk, i laughed when my friends asked me about James Morrison, and they laughed at me because i never heard of him.