Sunday, July 20, 2008


i need somebody
just help

it's 4.08 a.m
i'm still waiting
waiting for something to happen
i'm exhausted
my eyes were weary

i know it's dying
and i can't reach to protect it anymore
it's just so sad
but i've been sad for far too long
when the final judgement came
and it was leaving me for good
i didn't feel anything
it was leaving me
forever perhaps

and the words rang in my head
again and again
i picked up some memories
there were nothing more but memories
i'm free!

i slumped
my bed was the only thing that's perfect
i didn't think of anything
the world was ever so empty
water felt down
and for the very first time in months
i wept like a child
i can't believe it happened
i can't believe i was going to be alone today
and the day after that

and i wasn't thinking about it
i was thinking about something else
but that something else may never know
you let me down now just like i let you down then
still i miss you with my every breath
i still try to hold on to silly things
i never learn
oh why
all the possibility
i'm sure you've heard

it doesn't matter
it doesn't matter anymore
what others thought of me
and how they may never know how i really feel
what matter is that i know myself
even though i lost my self through
self discovery and self recovery

so to it
it told me i was the best thing that ever happened to it
but it left me with no sensible excuse
may be it was right
i always get what i want
and it's what i don't have that make me fight for it
what different does it make anyhow
i'm alone now

i've given up to faith
let faith choose the way i should be taking
rather than to do something
that'll destroy me
and make me a bad person

saye sangat mengong

Thursday, July 17, 2008

MeeT D0ddY!!

ni doddy, my newest pet!

silalah datang my house to say hi!

isn't she beautiful??!!

a blatta Orientalis

@ lipas.

Friday, July 11, 2008

:+:+: Admiring MiSs XxX :+:+:

I’m writing about a friend, let’s just call her MiSs. XxX.

She sat there sipping a bottle of coke. She drank so slow that I assumed the coke was hot. She smiled, and for a second there she was very beautiful. I wonder why did he left her over some stranger. I heaved a sigh. We started talking; we talked about life, friendship, love, sex, family and fashion.

She is a wonderful figure, which make a beautiful girl, who turn to be woman, who learned that betrayal hurts and love made her grow older.

Her rational thoughts taught me to see the imperfection in the person we love is better than to go searching for something perfect and end up alone eventually blanketed by guilt, because true love is so hard to find.

When I look into her brown eyes, they tell me that denials and secrets are the weapon of self destruction, and one should never use them as a self shield.

There were moments that I felt she just read me all too well. She told me to stop looking for answers to the wrong questions because it wouldn't really make any sense. She told me to stop thinking too much, to quit getting ahead of myself.

She told me that if we're really meant for someone, we'll eventually end up with that person. And when the time comes and you have to make a choice, you have to fight for it. I was scared because I knew that I still wasn't sure if I could "fight for it". I was scared because he mattered. I think it will come to a point wherein I was willing to risk Time and see a year from now if there was really something.

I still had a lot of growing up to do. Dentistry school was just around the corner and I tried to avoid as much complication as possible.

I was sure that he was special, that he is always going to be someone in my life. I wasn't sure if I could risk everything. I was torn between my dreams and my dream guy.

She was right, I haven't even answered Question A and already, I'm looking for answers to Question B.

I know that nobody remain happy eternally and tears are only a door away.

Then again, thank you MiSs XxX.